As all my Facebook friends know, I was so into the Olympics I may as well have been running the USOC Twitter account. All night, every night I was glued to the TV. The Olympics are so compelling for a lot of reasons. The greatness and athleticism you are beholding is unreal. There is a great sense of pride and patriotism. These people are sick at what they do. I really feel this way mainly for just the Summer Games. The Summer Olympics is 100 times more entertaining than the Winter Olympics. The sports are better and the women wear less clothes. Now that the ceremonies have concluded, here are a few observations I made over the 17-day sports extravaganza:
SWIMMING
I admittedly have a bias here considering I swam for most of my youth. These people make it look so damn easy it makes me want to vomit. Anyway, it's always a hell of a meet and America comported itself quite well as usual. Michael Phelps won a handful more medals. La di da. I honestly think that he didn't care as much. He just wanted to be there. He said as much and it showed. He still won four golds. Sheesh. I still don't think that's as impressive as the girlfriend he's landed himself. Holy cow.
Ryan Lochte. It might be fair to say he's overrated. Either way the performance didn't match the hype, and it was a little disappointing. But it's all good because he's dreamy. The women killed it. Missy Franklin broke through. Multiple world records. Relay dominance. A 15-year old from Bethesda. Awesome. A great showing from everyone. They're most graceful work was done in the Call Me Maybe parody video. Talent abound.
GYMNASTICS
The U.S. women won the gold! Awesome. Beating Russia and Romania in their national sport is glorious to me. Gabby Douglas winning the all-around was certainly another highlight. And to think some or all of these girls may not even be on the next Olympic team. They certainly made this one count. (Sidebar: I do think gymnastics is lame in that you can challenge a score at the end of an event. Seriously? Why wouldn't you do that after every apparatus? That's such a crybaby lowlight in a sport gushing with subjectivity. It's not fair to begin with. Don't be a sourpuss.)
TRACK AND FIELD
I was happy to see the women finally win golds that have eluded them up until now. Sanya Richards-Ross and Alysson Felix got it done. My girl LoLo didn't, but that's okay (read my friend Kelaine's piece on why she's still a winner http://benignhumor.wordpress.com/2012/08/13/why-being-lolo-jones-is-better-than-being-a-hater/). Because she's smoking hot. The rest of them are hot too. It was great to see.
Jamaicans are fast. The end.
WOMEN'S SOCCER
Most people would agree that the game against Canada was one of the best soccer games they've ever watched. I'm just glad America came out on top. Canada can have hockey. I want everything else. But the No. 1 ranked team in the world came away with gold and that's what counts. Though I do find it interesting that the women's game is different than the men's side. The men play U-23 squads. I don't know why it's different but whatever. Our women won the gold. No need to worry about it now.
BASKETBALL
Women, dominant. Five straight golds. Not much else you can say. In the men's game, the world is catching up. That's why the U.S. has got to have it's best players on the team. Unfortunately, a few of them were hurt this summer. But the LeBrons and Durants of the world came through. It wasn't always easy, but I don't think we can expect it to be anymore. The point is that they won every game they played in and won the gold. That's all we were asking.
OTHER SPORTS/GAMES
Women's Beach Volleyball - Three time gold medalists in May-Treanor and Walsh-Jennings. That's good work.
Women's Volleyball - I'm in love with a Hooker.
Wrestling - This is where the Middle Eastern countries shine. Combat.
Shooting - As one who has shot trap in the past, I find this totally amusing. You could conceivably be a 65-year old Olympian in this event. But I'm sure the pressure is pretty intense. Still, not athletic by normal standards.
Water Polo - There's a lot that goes on under the water that we don't need to see. Good job, U.S. women.
Cycling - Okay, this could go away and I wouldn't lose any sleep.
Table Tennis - The hand-eye coordination is at a level I could only reach in my dreams.
In the end, all I care about is the medal count and the U.S. won both overall and gold medals. Eat it, China. I like holding the medal count over every other country. Who knows how it will go in the Winter Olympics or any Olympics in the future? But we took London as best we could. Cheerio.
Anyway, I thought it was a GREAT Olympics. Records were set. Greatness was etched in stone. Athletes had lots and lots of sex with each other. Seriously though, watching the Olympics can make a person feel bad about themselves. The collective body fat of these nations is like 7%. Okay, I suppose you have to take out wrestlers and weight-lifters (some of those women are scary as hell, by the way). I think you get my drift. These people are in peak physical condition. I marvel at them. As I eat burritos and pizza. I'm already pining for Rio.
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