Grammys and Oscars: Meh.

Oh we all know my unapologetic soft spot for awards season.  Maybe I like it because I think it means I'm "plugged in" to modern society.  Well, whatever.  I'm in and I will be for the foreseeable future.  Since the music one and the movie one have recently passed, here is what I took away from each broadcast:

GRAMMYS

1.   It was pretty clear Adele was going to dominate this thing.  She had one of the best years for a recording artist in recent memory.  She couldn't even sing live for most of the year and she still cleaned up!  I have to say, she does have a phenomenal voice and deserves her awards.  I would, however, appreciate it if every "Today's Hits" radio station wouldn't play one of her songs every 15 minutes and at the same time as all the other stations.  I get it.  She can sing.  Play something different.  Also, this is mean, but she really is a dead ringer for Miss Piggy at certain angles.













2.  Katy Perry stuck it to Russell Brand with that new single she performed.  She can rebound with me anytime she wants.

3.  Foo Fighters took a shot at Auto-Tune and pop music in their acceptance speech they were rudely cut-off during.  They basically said playing music and writing your own tunes is true art.  Hmm.  If that's the case, then half the damn music industry is not creating true art.  I don't entirely disagree with him.  But what would I do without pop music honestly?

4.  Chris Brown got a lot of air time for a deadbeat-boyfriend-criminal man.  What message does that send to the world?  "It's ok if you beat women as long as your talented and a certain amount of time has passed."  And the women that tweeted they would let him beat them?  Let's pump the brakes on the jokes, ladies.  You haven't been told you aren't funny.  I'm here to tell you that that wasn't funny.  Remotely.

5.  Nicki Minaj is legitimately bat-shit crazy.  Regardless of her music one way or the other.  Bat-shit.


OSCARS

1.  When Eddie Murphy dropped out, Billy Crystal was the obvious choice to replace him.  It was his 9th broadcast.  Wow.  He's good.  He's a little safe and overdone, but he has good presence and the Academy loves him.  His openings are pretty classic.  Those do not get old, unlike the silver screen stars I'm used to watching.  Holy cow, these people are aging.  And I'm not even 30 yet.  It'll get even more surreal in 10 more years.

2.  The Artist.  I get it.  It must be a nice (ahem) artistic movie that made people think outside the box.  But a silent movie in 2012?  I can't get behind that.  With all the technology and stuff we have now, going retro does not make me want to see your movie.  It won Best Director, Actor, and Picture.  You're telling me this guy was better than Gary Oldman?  No one is better than Commissioner Gordon.  No one.  And some Frenchman beat out Scorsese.  I didn't see Hugo, but I'm willing to bet based on, I don't know, HIS RESUME Scorsese probably should have taken one home.  C'mon people.

3.  Meryl Streep has won 3 out of her 17 nominations.  What a run.  For a sports fan, obviously her win percentage isn't great, but I would argue those are pretty good numbers.  It's like the consecutive NCAA Tournament bid streak.  Pretty impressive and it proves staying power.  No matter what you think of her, you have to respect the heights she's reached in the acting world.  She's like Tiger in his hey.

4.  Angelina Jolie is too thin.  Yes, she's still a pretty lady.  I just don't dig chicks that look like the dying dude who represented "Sloth" in Se7en and that have crappy, randomly placed tattoos on their arm.  Either get the whole sleeve or don't get it at all.  And yes, we all see you have a nice milky white leg.  I'm not jazzed.

5.  I actually thought Cirque de Soleil was awesome.  Some might say it was totally pointless, and I can't argue with that.  But at least it was a nice change of pace.  Nor was it the singing of each nominated song.  I always hated that.  At least that performance last night showed people with legit athletic and stage talent.  I've never seen an actual show, but I think it would be awesome.


So anyway, that's my take.  The Oscars weren't as compelling this year since I hadn't seen many of the movies.  The Grammys, after you realized Adele would win everything, didn't end so compelling either.  At least those musical performances kept you watching though.  I needn't forget to mention that awards shows always have the ladies out in high fashion, and they all look spectacular.  I enjoy that as much as anything else.  Until the Emmys!

An Analysis of Jersey Shore

Pretending for a minute that MTV's Jersey Shore is something that deserves analysis, I am laying out some observations I've noticed as an avid watcher of this show.  Listen, I understand that this is some of the worst drivel on American television today.  It is, however, MTV's most popular show of all time.  I don't know what that says about American viewers, but I'm just falling in line with the masses.

1.  Generally speaking, people don't change

As we've seen throughout the five seasons of this show, they all consider each other a family.  That's all well and good, but they all get fed up with each other on a regular basis.  Now, it's understandable considering they live with each other and work together 24 hours a day.  They also have no TV, no cell phones, and no radio or media.  If you put seven people in a situation like that things are bound to reach a boiling point.  They try to make the best out of a complicated situation.  The issue is that they keep trying to make the best out of a complicated Situation.  Mike The Situation is constantly treated like an outsider because he's an instigator and a drama queen.  Everybody gets pissed at him for something he did, and a day later they return to their entrusting ways.  They tell him that he's "been nice".  Meanwhile, he's always plotting some diabolical scheme to sabotage someone's relationship.  ALWAYS.  He has always done that.  Yet, they try so hard to keep him as part of the "family."  I know you are living with the guy, and you're trying to get along.  But at some point, just leave the motherfucker out of everything.  Don't put yourself in a Situation where you end up needing to clean up a mess.

2.  Dudes are pretty much what you think they are

Don't worry.  I know these Jersey Shore cast members are not representative of everyone in the country.  I do believe though that the general practice of bringing girls home to bang them is fairly common practice for beach-going single men.  Pauley, Vinny, and Mike are constantly "acquiring assets" to come home after a crazy night at Karma to try and "get it in" as they all like to say.  What's funny is right after they get up and go call a cab for these ladies.  Get the hell outta here.  I mean it's cold-blooded, but I do think that's kind of the way guys are about getting laid when they aren't in a relationship.  I don't really think this is news to anyone.  It's just funny to see it in practice on the small screen.  Random question:  How the hell do you have sex with someone when there are three people that sleep in the same room?  That sounds like it would open a whole can of worms to me.

3.  Branding is annoying

Now that all these cast members are low-level celebrities, they all have brands or wear brands related to appearances they've made outside of the show.  Pauley wears his star shirts.  Situation wears a SportsNation hat every now and then.  They all print "Free Snooki" shirts and shit at the Shore Store just so they can stand out and prove they're better than everybody.  It happens in every episode and its annoying.  Mainly because I can't believe they're all getting rich off of this show that really isn't changing the world or TV or anyone's life in a positive way.

4.  Everyone enjoys drama, but without the Ronnie and Sammi drama the show is better

Initially, the fact that there was an in-house relationship was an important arc for the "plot" of the show.  After the first two and a half seasons though, I'd say it was about time those two ended up parting ways.  It was one thing after another with them.  After a while, intracouple drama isn't fun to watch.  It's vexing, uncomfortable, and frustrating.  Their arguments would border on domestic violence half the time.  I mean this is a horrific equation: 
Meathead + alcohol x girlfriend who annoys him = Items thrown and people punched

Now, after their return from Italy, it seems that there is nothing to speak of on this front.  They both claimed that they aren't together and it's for the best.  During this season, you see them sleeping in the same bed and hanging out, but their relationship hasn't been addressed directly.  It has been quite refreshing.  I'm sure somehow it will all come full circle, but for now it's a welcome break.  They were a nightmare together.  It makes you question you're own relationship.  "If we aren't Ronnie and Sammi, we gotta be okay, right?"


Character Analysis

A quick synopsis of these fools on this show:

Snooki - Head meatball.  Seriously, she is so trifling I can't even stand it.  Every time she finishes a sentence in that one-on-one with the camera she purses her lips like she just said something so brilliant how can we not respect her.  Well, we can not respect you for how you look, how you dress, how much of a drunk slob you are, your hookup choices, and your donk boyfriend.

Mike the Situation - Dude is a Situation.  Constantly feels left out because he alienates people and starts shit.  Skeezes on chicks way skeezier than the other guys.

Deena - Second meatball.  Deena is clearly a flaming idiot.  She's not entirely sure how electricity works.  I do however think that she's someone I could actually be friends with.  I mean she's nearly as trifling as Snooki and just as ugly, but she is fun and does seem to be able to hang with the boys. 

Pauley D - The blowout is intense.  That needs to go.  But Pauley seems relatively sane, and he is certainly the funniest member of the house.  Likes to bang girls in honor of his BFF Vinny. 

Vinny - Easily the most normal of all the cast mates.  Less of a meathead, less tan, less involved in bullshit.  He's someone you could hang with.

JWOWW - She's no bullshit.  She likes driving her boyfriend crazy.  She has to reign in the meatballs a lot of times.  Her most prominent trait are her gigantic boobs.  I have to admit, I would put it to her.

Ronnie - Meathead who likes to fight over girls.  Basically, the exact stereotype of a Jersey Guido.

Sammi - The sweetest bitch you'll ever meet.  Actually that's sort of accurate.  She's cute, but really adds just about nothing to the whole operation there.


Anyway, that's everybody's favorite Thursday night show.  I will keep watching as long as it's on.  For some reason.  Something draws me in each week.  Sigh.  I'm exactly the kind of viewer the producers had in mind when they greenlit this thing.

A Pre-Super Bowl Conversation Between Tom Brady and Eli Manning

Tom Brady:   Hey Eli, thanks for having me over for this pre-Super Bowl potluck.  It's a little muddy outside.  Want me to take my Uggs off here?

Eli Manning (wearing a "Manning the Grill" apron):  Hey Tom, yeah that'd be great, thanks.  Got your cake there?

TB:  Yeah.  It's a yellow cake and the icing is $100 bills!  Isn't that dope?  I asked the baker to do it.  And the four cherries on top are sculpted like Super Bowl rings.

Eli (laughing):  Nice touch, Tom, nice touch.  Seems like one cherry too many to me.
(Eli pulls fourth cherry off and swallows it whole)

TB:  Wow, okay.  I just wanted to take a friendly baked-good jab before the game.

Eli:  No, I understand.  But there's no way that can top my Amazing Catch Bread Bowl in the kitchen.

(They walk to the kitchen.  The bread bowl is baked just right with tasty dip inside, and it is positioned just so on top of a Giants helmet.  The tortilla chips with which to dip have a Patriot logo on them.)

TB:  Wow, Eli.  That is impressive.  Trying to bring up painful memories for me, I see.

Eli:  All in good fun.

TB:  You know what's even more impressive.  MVP seasons, 50-touchdown seasons, three rings and and a smokin' supermodel wife...and the fact that I had an illegitimate child with another hot actress.  I'm as potent as our offense circa 2007.  I will get my revenge.

Eli:  Yeah, that's all well and good Tom, but you don't have what I have.  You don't know what I'm capable of out there.

TB:  Oh yeah?  And what's that?

Eli:  Throwing a blind pass with all my might that your defense should be able to defend basically every play, but the wind shifts and it lands right in my receivers hands for a significant gain.  Keep in mind, I'm not limited to just one of these per game.

TB:  Alright, Eli.  We'll just have to see what happens on Sunday.

Eli:  We will.

(Brandon Jacobs walks into the room, and walks into Tom Brady.  He just stops, and decides he's gone far enough.  He enjoys some dip.)

Eli:  Brandon, explain to Tom why his team will go down on Sunday.

BJ:  mmmph grrrrrrlll mmmmmphs ssssssssplluuuurg (mouth really full of tortilla chips)

TB:  Whatever.  I don't buy it.  As good as your defense has been playing.  You don't have a statuesque man's man at tight end that grabs onto footballs like he's grabbing a porn star's ass.  And he scores touchdowns like he scores with blond sillies.

Eli:  Gronk is injured.  I'm sure our defense will maneuver around him with no problem.  I'm sure Antrel Rolle will say something so scathing, it will totally deflate your team and increase our chances to win.

TB:  Either way, we can trot Hernandez out there, who is just as effective especially if we run the Santa Maria play.  Too many weapons for you guys to handle.

Eli:  Our boys will get to you, Tom.  No problem at all.

TB:  Fine, I'll just pitch it to Ochofive or the "Miraculous 12-year-old" Danny Woodhead out of the backfield.

Eli:  Whatever man.  How are your boys going to stop Cruz and Nicks?

TB:  Oh they're going to nix Cruz and his vivacious hips.

Eli:  You seem to forget we have Bear Pascoe out of our backfield.  I mean, his first name is an animal.  How can you possibly expect to stop him?  He's a vicious forest creature for God's sake!!!

TB:  Whatever.  I can't wait to see Coughlin's hands glued to his hips in the sissiest way imaginable after I throw my third touchdown to some white guy.

Eli:  Why don't you just ride Belichick's ass, as I'm told you're privy to do, to an adult clothing store so he doesn't look like he should be holding a change cup under a blanket in the Bronx.

TB:  You better watch it, Eli.  Once I swipe this comb through my hair, it's on.

(Eli stands there with his "Wait, why didn't that work?" face and holds the expression for 15 seconds.)

Eli:  Look, why don't you just get out of here before something bad happens.  (He pulls up his sleeve.  A watch shines like a beacon.)  Remember, I am UNSTOPPABLE.

(Tom and Eli meet nose to nose with their weapons of choice, a comb and a watch.)

TB:  We'll settle this on the field on Sunday.  And when I win, I'll act so humble it'll make your stomach turn.

Eli:  And when I win, I'll finally be almost as good as my brother.  And you can shove it.  Up Belichick's ass.

TB:  Sunday.

Eli:  Sunday.

(Brady carefully puts on his Ugg boots and slams the door behind him.  He runs the comb through his hair and smirks a Hall of Fame smirk.  Eli returns to the grill.  Devin Thomas tries to talk about what a good griller he is and tries to take over.  Eli denies him.  He looks at his watch and sees his reflection in the face.  He smirks an boyish smirk that should only be underestimated by the Devil himself.)


ENJOY THE SUPERBOWL!

Is Dexter No Longer Elite?

I have maintained for at least 4 years that Dexter on Showtime is one of the best shows on TV hands down.  There is compelling character development coupled with a serious tug-of-war morally.  The viewer has to reconcile their affection for Dexter as a protagonist and their disdain of his actions as a serial killer.  The plot lines are often complex and gruesome, not to mention suspenseful.  The viewer is almost better served to wait until the season is over to begin watching all the episodes so that you don't have to wait a week to see what happens next. 

That's what I did.  I just recently finished the season On Demand, and I couldn't stop watching.  It's gripping.  I would agree with most sentiments that this season was certainly not the best season, but the religious tie-in to the End of Days was timely considering many think in December 2012 Earth will cease to be.  Then, a few episodes from the end, the show took a vicious left turn and in doing so may have left me skeptical of the show's future success.

In her therapy sessions, Debra is illuminated to the notion that she is, in fact, in love with Dexter rather than simply being his stepsister.  Apparently, she has always sought a Dexter-type in her relationships, and that's why they have never worked out (see: everyone dies or tragic shit happens).  Gimme a break with this.  What, am I watching Clueless?  Is it supposed to be somewhat acceptable since they aren't blood related?  I found her sudden epiphany to be too awkward to even watch.  This is the Dark Passenger of the script.  It's just too weird.  I don't know how often something like that happens to in real life.  I'm sure it happens sometimes.  But holy cow, it made me very uncomfortable.  I started to cover my face during her "self-discovery" scenes.  Their interactions afterwards are...blech.  Gross.

The point here is, Dexter just completed season six, and I'm wondering if now the writers are starting to run out of good ideas.  This happens all the time, but good shows like this keep running because they are super successful.  Most shows probably even go too long.  Weeds went completely off the deep end.  By the end of its run, The X-Files (which is one of my favorites of all time) was so-so at best.   I would say the max number of seasons for a prime time cable or network show is around 8 years, give or take.  Okay, so Dexter is approaching the twilight of its quality broadcasts.  I'm not saying I'm not going to watch it next season.  I'm sure I will tune in.  I am loyal to my faves.  I just ask the writers to be careful.  Don't explore this, or anything like it, too much longer.  It's draining the series' precious life away.

Wishes For The New Year

As 2011 seamlessly transitions into 2012, here are a few things I would like to see in our final year on earth according to the Mayan calendar:

A Stanley Cup in D.C.

As of right now, I realize that this is an incredible long shot.  In the current standings, the Capitals aren't even in the playoffs.  They have won two straight and hopefully they are starting to understand Dale Hunter's style of play.  Listen, a Stanley Cup is long overdue though.  The Caps have won four straight division titles, won the President's Trophy in 2009, and have had several 100 point scorers over the course of the last few seasons.  The playoffs are constantly a huge letdown.  Losing to an 8 seed or going 0-for against a division rival is baffling.  It's like they recoil when the light is shining brightest.  The Caps resolution this year should be to put it all together late in the season, and bring home the Cup that the city has expected for the last few seasons.


Smart Decisions and Decent Football Play in Ashburn

Look, I'm not delusional, though sometimes it seems like it.  I expect very little from the Redskins in 2012.  The issue is that after starting 3-1, the 2011 season was over by Week 8.  The team went from
6-10 to what looks like 5-11 with a better roster than they had in 2010.  All I ask is that they continue to draft well.  They did great with Ryan Kerrigan, and almost all of their draft picks have played at some point this season.  That's positive.  Now you have to get a quarterback.  As much as I love tons of draft picks, you have to do what you have to do to get a legit quarterback.  Grossman is gross, and Beck is some sauce.  You have no choice.  The Shanahans have painted themselves into a corner.  They say all the right things like the politicians running in the 2012 elections.  Now you have to get it done on the field.  Let's at least make an attempt to keep improving.  Approach .500.  The Redskins' New Year's resolution should be to not be last in the NFC East in 2012.  Or at least compete for third.


Another #1 Pick for the Wiz

The Wizards are still amidst a huge rebuild, so they aren't going to win many games in this shortened season.  John Wall is the cornerstone for this franchise and they need to surround him with talent.  Chris Singleton was a nice pickup last year in the draft, and Jan Vesely's impact remains to be seen.  At this point, the best thing would be for the Wizards to not win very many games and improve their chances at another #1 pick to pair with John Wall.  That sort of talent makes a huge difference, especially in basketball.  The Wizards resolution should be to get the fans in D.C. jazzed up for a new season after acquiring game-changing talent.


A Surge for Turge

Everyone expected a step back for the Maryland basketball team with the sudden retirement of legend Gary Williams.  At the same time, everyone is excited about what Mark Turgeon brings to the table.  He has hired serious local recruiters and already has a top-20 recruiting class coming in next year.  Not only that, but he and his staff found the 7'1" Ukrainian Alex Len who finally became eligible part-way through this season.  He adds much needed size to the current team.  Combine his growth in year two with the solid prospects coming in next year, and this team should be much improved.  Maryland is also in on some serious prospects for 2013.  If he can lockdown some of this high-end talent, Maryland's future looks bright.  Credit Turgeon for his solid coaching and knowing what he needs to win.  Maryland's basketball resolution should be to keep pressing for top-flight talent and hoping to land a few.


Put Up or Shut Up

Perhaps the polar opposite of the above wish for 2012, the Maryland football team is going in the opposite direction.  Randy Edsall took a 9-4 team and turned it into a 2-10 team.  He has said all the wrong things and mishandled every situation so far.  The claim is he is a good recruiter.  Now is the time.  You want to do things your way, then prove to the fans that you're way is working.  The university had to cut seven sports because fans don't enjoy going to football games.  It might have something to do with the product.  Edsall's resolution is simple: win and prove people wrong.


Premium Channel Programming Continues its Dominance

The best shows on TV are on the premium pay channels bar none.  Between True Blood, Boardwalk Empire, Dexter, Shameless and even the 24/7 HBO series, they are the most compelling, sexy, well-done shows on the tube.  Here's to those networks bringing in new programming that matches the quality of what they already air.  In 2012, HBO and Showtime should provide a resolution for what happened in the latest season finales of their current lineup.


3D Movies Don't Continue to Dominate Theaters

I understand that if anything there will be an increase in 3D movies.  I just really think that most movies that have been converted to 3D didn't really need to be.  Let's not use 3D for the sake of 3D.  Use it the way Avatar used it.  It's part of the story, and was the huge draw to that film in the first place.  Let's not make a movie 3D just because there is a few minutes of action in the script.  I can enjoy the action just as easily without an overdone gimmick.  I enjoy special effects as much as anyone.  I just prefer it when it serves a purpose other than to overcharge for ticket sales.  The movie studios should maintain a resolution to not overthink the movies they are making.  If it's filmed in 3D, great.  If not, leave it alone.


A New Job For Me

This won't happen until at least the spring, but at some point its gotta change.  Maybe this is the year.


Here's to a prosperous and healthy 2012.  Happy New Year all.

Bogus Corrupt Selections

The BCS is a joke.  It's like anything else in college sports.  It's all about the bottom dollar.  Yet the BCS isn't run by the NCAA.  It just operates the exact same way the NCAA does.  The "computers" determine rankings based on a whole set of factors that apparently objectively rate each team each week.  So at the end of the season, where teams are rated in the BCS standings determines which schools go to the Orange, Sugar, Fiesta, Rose, and championship bowl games.  So in this particular year it would be pretty hard for anyone to argue that LSU and Alabama shouldn't play each other for the championship.  They have certainly looked like the two best teams on the field this year.  It's the other BCS bowls that are totalling baffling.

All the Big Six conference champions earn a bid.  Then the remaining four teams are chosen at-large.  Ok, well the issue is that Virginia Tech and Michigan were invited to the Sugar Bowl.  These two teams won 10 games and had really good years.  But Virginia Tech lost twice to Clemson, including a loss in the conference championship game.  Late losses generally work against a team.  Michigan, after a wonderfully resurgent year, did not even compete for a conference title!  How on earth do both of these teams get a bid to the Sugar Bowl??  Boise State, everyone's favorite underdog small school, lost one game this year in the middle of the season to a decent TCU team.  What are they thinking?

The whole thing is so ridiculous.  Virginia Tech and Michigan were chosen because their fans travel well and can be found everywhere.  They are two of college footballs best brands.  The amount of fans heading to New Orleans on January 3rd will be a boon for that area.  Not only does the city make money, but the bowl itself makes money and the schools make money to continue their dominance of college football media publicity year after year.  These schools don't deserve to play in the Sugar Bowl.  Why are computers determining the best teams in Div.-I football?  It's the most assbackwards thing I've ever heard of. 

This has obviously been going on for years, but this year with this Sugar Bowl matchup, I think people are realizing there is no equity in the BCS.  One or two loss teams are at the mercy of selection committees.  In every other level of college football and every other sport, there is a tournament/playoff.  Everyone knows whether professional or amateur, playoffs are exciting, nerve-wracking and dramatic.  Where is the drama in computer rankings?  There are none.  Behind the computers are guys that are determining which games will bank the most money for the respective BCS games.  These teams aren't going to play until one team stands alone.  They are going to play one game and have to ask "what-if". 

I'm as big a fan of more college games as anyone.  I'm going to watch a lot of the bowl games.  Of course, I can't watch them all since there are nearly 40 of them.  (Seriously, like half of all FBS teams make a bowl game.  6-6 teams are getting into bowls.  Aren't you supposed to be good to play in the post season?)  That's only because I'm a football fan.  I'm not watching because of the merit of a championship.  Lord only knows which team is actually the champion.  Hopefully, we won't need many more seasons like this for something to change.  As far as I'm concerned, until the results are truly determined on the field, all national champions are only champs on paper.  Let them play it out.  Sports is all about the rise of a champion.  The only way to witness that ascent is let the best play the best.  Keep the decision-makers (and the money) out of it.

Randy Edsall's Bogus Journey

Talk to any true, young Maryland fan and they will tell you they were less than enthusiastic about the hiring of Randy Edsall.  Not everyone was totally against it, but no one was particularly excited either.  He seemed like a run-of-the-mill, moderately successful coach that would hopefully inject a youthful exuberance.  Nothing about him really stood out as "This guy is excellent."

He did take Connecticut from an FCS (as it's now known) school to an FBS school, and he ended up over time winning a Big East title.  Ok, fine.  At the time though, the Big East's best teams had no less than four losses.  UCONN got lucky enough to win a tie breaker.  Anyway, I suppose that should still be considered an accomplishment.

His foray into the Maryland football coaching lexicon has led to no such accomplishments.  After his disastrous 2-10 year, he now has a coaching record with more losses than wins.  In nearly 20 games, he has beaten a top-20 team once.  ONCE.  If you're moving from Connecticut to Maryland you should probably have more than one victory over a top-20 team.  Even in crappy years Ralph Friedgen beat ranked opponents.  On his watch, the Terps beat Florida State a couple of times.  That alone should be cause to celebrate. 

Let's talk about that.  The 2010 ACC Coach of the Year was fired after leading a team to a 9-4 season after having a disastrous 2-10 season of his own the year before.  He did it with a redshirt freshman at quarterback.  Yet new dipshit AD Kevin Anderson decided nine wins wasn't good enough to extend the portly coach.  Nine wins at Maryland!  That should be praised around these parts.  Outside of Fridge's early dream seasons, that is the apex of a program like Maryland.  It should be celebrated, not dismantled.  Then he goes and gets a guy who is not a sexy hire at all compared to Mike Leach.  Leach is a colorful personality with a prolific offense.  For whatever reason, U-Md. was just too good for him (best sarcastic tone).

So enter the young gun who would rather worry about earrings and facial hair than not getting into the end zone.  Hey guys, here's your new coach, Joseph Stalin.  Enjoy being tortured by a man that thinks he's too good for any of year and doesn't care about wins.  He cares about the Edsall Way.  Which seems to be the way down.

There is about a .5% chance Edsall is relieved of his duties following this season.  His exorbitant contract is prohibitive in that regard.  (By the way, $10 million?  Unearned.  What were they thinking?)  So we will sit back and give him another year to get his guys in here and play the Edsall Way.  My question is, who the hell wants to play for this guy who never ever takes any blame for anything?  Not the five-star recruits, I can tell you that.

Thanks, Edsall for making my alma mater the laughing stock of the conference.  I hope you find a way to make this work because you're driving this whole thing off a cliff.  No one is going to come watch games next year because of you.  You're window is closing.  Miami must be kicking themselves right now wondering how on earth they lost to the Terps in 2011.  Oh, and if Mike Leach all of a sudden makes Washington State good, I'm going to have a shit-fit.